It is very difficult to put in words the limited but the wholesome experiences acquired in Dubai. A corporate meeting was the perfect red herring to have a two day holiday in the city of gold. Looking at the vastness of the desert land turning into the oasis of stunning buildings and modern infrastructure from 15000 feet was surreal. The first feel of Dubai at the airport was very windy and humid. I learnt that this kind of weather is very rare in the entire spectrum of the emirate’s climate. So I guess the city had just decided to greet her first time guest with a weather that was even unknown to her!
Settling down in the chauffeured transport from the airport, the first thing I took note was that Dubai was left hand drive and the roads had possibly all the expensive cars available from all around the world. By the time I checked in to my hotel for the day, I had almost got used to seeing a lot of males dressed in the traditional white robes with a black head ring ( I forgot the Arabic name for this attire though). After spending some refreshing moments in the hotel room, I was soon at the concierge racking my brains over the map of Dubai and trying to get the “Al-Whatever(s)” memorized.
I was very confused despite the excellent efforts of the concierge, so I just went by my instincts and I hopped into a taxi and headed straight to the Dubai Museum- getting a cultural head start would be a good idea! Commuting in Dubai by taxis is not a very smart idea as it does get a bit expensive- you are in the cab for 4-5 minutes and you shell out approximately 25 AED (Dirhams); however I did not have the luxury of time to get a bus/metro pass for the span of two days.
I feel that sitting in the front seat along with the driver is the perfect way to start a conversation and get to know the city from a tourist and a non- tourist perspective. * Most cab drivers in Dubai are Indians and Pakistanis… and if they are from Pakistan…for some reason every one of them is from Peshawar.*
Talking to the taxi drivers was quite enlightening as it was the fastest way to know the bourgeoisie of an opulent city. The fact that I could concur from the talks with the various taxi drivers was that the city of affluence has some really warm hearts running one of the efficient commute systems of the city. (Also after the many trips and conversations with the taxi drivers, I did get used to my salaam-alay-kum s and Khuda Hafiz s)
The trip to the Dubai Museum was very enriching as it gave me the feel of the evolution of the wonderful emirate. The museum traced back to the times of evolution of Dubai from being just another oasis to a trading port to the discovery of oil and to the stupendous progress that followed. Not only did I travel back in time at the museum, but also got a glimpse into some of the magnificent projects lined up for the future.
By the time I was done with the cultural introduction of the city, it was early evening and time for me to explore the city. My next adventure was a ride in one of the oldest transport systems still existent in the city- the Abra. The Abra is small boat that has been used since the times of the booming trade in the city. It was used to carry not only the goods but people as well across the creek that divides the city into two distinct areas. The ride in the Abra was quite cheap (only 01 AED one way) and very novel. The weather was just perfect (breezy, cloudy and less humid) to be out in the waters of the creek of Dubai. People on the Abra included tourists, daily wage workers and also the middle class professionals. The ports across the creeks where the Abras ferried were quite distinctly different from each other. On one hand you have a port which was just an extension of the promenade and lined up with great cafes and floating restaurants and on the other port, the place was something that seemed which had not changed for centuries. It had retained all its old world charm-a semi open market place with beautiful Arabic arches which sold everything from “I love Dubai” t-shirts to “antiques” ( probably one could just find the Magical Lamp with a genie inside). Strolling along this market was very strange and nice. After a 10 minute ferry ride, I arrived at the other side and went on exploring the place completely guided by my instinct-sometimes ending up at a towering fancy hotel, a mall sometime or just a public toilet. Most of the part of the exploration was, however, along the promenade appreciating the architectural (not being a pedantic here) differences in the city’s buildings and the culture around. Time just flew strolling around the long stretch of the creek- a very relaxing stroll… the weather and the active mind made perfect company for me.
The next couple of hours were spent in the comforts of the hotel room freshening up, working out at the gym and contemplating as to what should be next on the agenda. And then suddenly my eyes caught the sight of an advertisement on the back of the map-“The Big Bus is the only way to see Dubai….night tours on Wednesdays and Saturdays…Get your tickets NOW!!!” No second thoughts on this one and in less than an hour’s time I was sitting on the roof of a red colored open air tour bus with the wind slapping in the face. The commentator for the night was a chirpy 19 years old British girl who happened to know the facts and trivia about the city very well. The two and half hours tour took me all over the city- the museums, the mosques, the famous roads, the tallest buildings, the biggest hotels, the beaches, Gold Souk (they even have purple gold) the mansions of the Sheikhs, Palm Jumeirah and more…Half way through the tour something really unexpected happened…I experienced something that Dubai experiences only five times in a year-rain!! The windy weather culminated in a fantastic display of lightening against the background of the Dubai skyline and it was quite obvious that heavy showers followed the lightening. A look of disbelief, shock and excitement was seen on the faces of all the people on the streets. The traffic also went into a tizzy as the drainage in the city is not really equipped to handle heavy showers.* Sharjah- Dubai’s neighbor does not even have a drainage system in place!*. It was really a wet, cold and a happy experience- all thanks to Kathy who was keeping the spirits of everyone high with her bubbly banter!
After this joyful journey around the city the next biggest obstacle was getting a taxi and this was overcome after an arduous wait of 90 minutes. Once back in the hotel I placed all the wet money everywhere to let it dry off, ordered food and then hit the bed for a good night’s rest.
The following morning started of with a heavy breakfast and completing the task of changing hotels. The Grand Hyatt Dubai is a beautiful property and the hotel is laid out across keeping the theme of flowing water in place and thus anywhere in the hotel lobby or its campus one is able to hear the sound of flowing water. * The wings of the hotel are designed in such a way that the aerial view of the hotel reads “Dubai” in the Arabic text.*
I started my afternoon by visiting the malls of Dubai-first one being the Dubai Mall *world’s largest mall… it even has a large walk through aquarium and a skating rink* and then the Mall of the Emirates which has the Dancing Fountain and an indoor ski slope as its claim to fame. Later I decided to spend my late afternoon and evening on the Jumeirah Beach road. It is a beautiful stretch of road lined by villas, malls, clinics offering cosmetic treatments and open air cafes…and also the road runs along the Jumeirah beach. I started the exploration with a visit to the Jumeirah mosque (the only mosque in Dubai that allows non-Muslims to enter). However I was disappointed as the mosque had dedicated timings for non-Muslims to enter the mosque. I was just about to leave the mosque and then I heard the call of the mosque to the people to offer their prayers and I decided to hang around for some more time. People from all around the area and from all walks of life came to the mosque to say their prayers. I was not allowed to go in so I just sat on the stairs of the mosque and said my prayers. While sitting there I happened to notice the kind of silence and tranquility that had suddenly overcome the other busy looking block. The chirping of the birds was probably the only noise that could be heard. Forty five minutes or so later of praying and imbibing the serenity, I felt spiritually recharged and I took the road again and headed straight to the beach.
The beach seemed to have a culture of its own. White sand, clear waters, sun-bathers, exotic villas, children playing, joggers….this was the scene! I was quite astonished to see women in bikinis, although these women were Europeans/Americans, as I was of the opinion that the emirate would be a very conservative place. However I later learnt that the conservative culture is only followed by the natives and is not imposed on the outsiders. *The population of Dubai is 80% expatriate and only 20% native*.
Listening to the sound of the waves and staring into the vastness of the sea was quite soothing and a welcome break from the almost pretentious ostentation everywhere else. Full of content and warmth, I headed back to the hotel to be out again. However this time I was a colleague who wanted to go on a shopping spree in the “Mini India/Pakistan” market called Mina Bazaar. After three hours of going around the place we ended up with nothing in hand, umpteen taxi rides and a thorough understanding of the by lanes of Mina Bazaar.
The next two days were spent in the conference halls of the Grand Hyatt and the evening in the gymnasium; and this all I have to write about that! But the weekend spent in Dubai – a city that has to offer everything for everyone would sure be quite memorable.
I did not go dune riding, I did not see any belly dancers, I did not eat camel meat, I did not shop nor did I do any of the other things that are probably associated with Dubai… but I connected with Dubai in my own special way…I went around the city in the rain, I spoke to some really warm people, I saw some wonderful and attractive places, I collected interesting trivia about the city, I prayed at a beautiful and a peaceful mosque, I enjoyed watching the sea…to sum it up, I was glad that I got to spend time with myself in a place as superlative as Dubai!
Sunday, March 7, 2010
The Dubai Diary (28-Feb-2010 till 02-Mar-2010)
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Que Sera Sera...
* There was hope that was endeavored upon to bring about the much needed change that each one of us would like to see in the world around us. However something as abstract as destiny, financial security and social inhibitions won the battle against the concrete of determination and will. Probably now was not a good time to start marching in the direction of the winds of change....when... I do not know...but giving in to the future is the only path that I am certain of...scared of saying this but I hope that the hope in me rekindles once again...Que Sera Sera...*
A 10 year old idli vendor at Jogeshwari station is sobbing profusely because he is scared of the severe punishment that will be pelted at him by his “master” because the municipality fined him on that unfortunate day.
On a Sunday evening, there is a 6 year old girl on the Marine Drive promenade who is endeavoring to make a sale of at least one pencil with a glowing star at the non-lead end to the nonchalant pedestrians.
An advertisement on a television at CST showing a happy bunch of kids playing with paper boats in a beautiful town is being watched dreamily by an 8 year old whose hands, out of habit, are gesturing the commuters to put some money in them.
Examples like these are plenty but the common thread between these children and many more is their dreams. All children have an excellent imagination which gives rise to some powerful dreams that have the power to create magic in the world. However the only way that these thoughts and ambitions could be put in concrete is through the path of good education.
I would like to define education as a life long process that is much more than literacy; it is the will to learn life, and it goes hand in hand with the spirit of liberty and love. Education empowers an individual to not only dream but also to construct the roads to achieve them. Education gives the courage to bring about the change in the lives of individuals. Proper education imparted at the right phase in life can help revolutionize the gloomy lives of children like the ones described above. Education can help the idli vendor to understand that only he is the “master” of his life and nobody can violate his self respect and personal space. Education can teach the little girl the correct application of the pencil that she was selling which would eventually help her collect all the “glowing stars” that life has to offer. Education can give birth to the much needed confidence in the 8 year old beggar that could catapult him in the world of happiness that he dreams of.
I believe that by being a Teach for India fellow, I get the platform to bring about this transformation in the lives of the children and bring equity in the way education is imparted. Ignoring the straining situation of education in India is not going to help anyone and it is time to be accountable to bring about the change in the basic foundation of the society.
India is in her 63rd year of independence; however her citizens are not happy with the vices that are crippling her social stature. The strong “lack of equal education to all” pillar is supporting these vices. The pillar has to be eliminated today. The Teach for India fellowship is the perfect tool to abolish the bane of inequity of education.
Change always comes bearing gifts. And there is no better time than the next second to bring about the much needed winds of change in our society. It is time again to have a tryst with destiny to bring about the ray of hope amidst the dark clouds hovering above our society.
I see the fellowship as an opportunity for me to not only bring about the implementation of this reflection but also spend the next two years conceiving and accomplishing beneficial projects towards the cause of equal education in the under resourced schools of India. This fellowship with Teach for India will give the necessary pragmatic leverage to my thoughts and ensure actual fulfillment of the mission with concrete measures.
A 10 year old idli vendor at Jogeshwari station is sobbing profusely because he is scared of the severe punishment that will be pelted at him by his “master” because the municipality fined him on that unfortunate day.
On a Sunday evening, there is a 6 year old girl on the Marine Drive promenade who is endeavoring to make a sale of at least one pencil with a glowing star at the non-lead end to the nonchalant pedestrians.
An advertisement on a television at CST showing a happy bunch of kids playing with paper boats in a beautiful town is being watched dreamily by an 8 year old whose hands, out of habit, are gesturing the commuters to put some money in them.
Examples like these are plenty but the common thread between these children and many more is their dreams. All children have an excellent imagination which gives rise to some powerful dreams that have the power to create magic in the world. However the only way that these thoughts and ambitions could be put in concrete is through the path of good education.
I would like to define education as a life long process that is much more than literacy; it is the will to learn life, and it goes hand in hand with the spirit of liberty and love. Education empowers an individual to not only dream but also to construct the roads to achieve them. Education gives the courage to bring about the change in the lives of individuals. Proper education imparted at the right phase in life can help revolutionize the gloomy lives of children like the ones described above. Education can help the idli vendor to understand that only he is the “master” of his life and nobody can violate his self respect and personal space. Education can teach the little girl the correct application of the pencil that she was selling which would eventually help her collect all the “glowing stars” that life has to offer. Education can give birth to the much needed confidence in the 8 year old beggar that could catapult him in the world of happiness that he dreams of.
I believe that by being a Teach for India fellow, I get the platform to bring about this transformation in the lives of the children and bring equity in the way education is imparted. Ignoring the straining situation of education in India is not going to help anyone and it is time to be accountable to bring about the change in the basic foundation of the society.
India is in her 63rd year of independence; however her citizens are not happy with the vices that are crippling her social stature. The strong “lack of equal education to all” pillar is supporting these vices. The pillar has to be eliminated today. The Teach for India fellowship is the perfect tool to abolish the bane of inequity of education.
Change always comes bearing gifts. And there is no better time than the next second to bring about the much needed winds of change in our society. It is time again to have a tryst with destiny to bring about the ray of hope amidst the dark clouds hovering above our society.
I see the fellowship as an opportunity for me to not only bring about the implementation of this reflection but also spend the next two years conceiving and accomplishing beneficial projects towards the cause of equal education in the under resourced schools of India. This fellowship with Teach for India will give the necessary pragmatic leverage to my thoughts and ensure actual fulfillment of the mission with concrete measures.
Monday, January 4, 2010
The Proposal...
* I am not too sure whether this poem should be called 'The Proposal..." but I guess only time will tell...*
In this world of insignificance, it is only your laughter that makes my living worthwhile…
Your presence in my life is what I desire, what I pray for and what I dream of…
Assuage my desires, grant my prayers and fulfill my dreams …
Life is always beautiful when I look at her through your eyes…
You are the certainty in my ambiguous existence…
Give me the chance of a lifetime of bliss and conviction…
Your slightest touch gives birth to ripples of excitement…
Waves of peace follow the pleasure of your feel…
An opportunity to be a slave of your touch is what I ask for…
It is only the fathomless ocean that compares the depth of your thoughts…
Pristine, pure and magical when expressed with unspoken words...
Bestow on me an eternal and an endless conversation…
You, a giver of warmth, care and compassion…
It’s now time you should know what it feels to be treasured for and thus…
Accept me to love you for forever and thereafter…
In this world of insignificance, it is only your laughter that makes my living worthwhile…
Your presence in my life is what I desire, what I pray for and what I dream of…
Assuage my desires, grant my prayers and fulfill my dreams …
Life is always beautiful when I look at her through your eyes…
You are the certainty in my ambiguous existence…
Give me the chance of a lifetime of bliss and conviction…
Your slightest touch gives birth to ripples of excitement…
Waves of peace follow the pleasure of your feel…
An opportunity to be a slave of your touch is what I ask for…
It is only the fathomless ocean that compares the depth of your thoughts…
Pristine, pure and magical when expressed with unspoken words...
Bestow on me an eternal and an endless conversation…
You, a giver of warmth, care and compassion…
It’s now time you should know what it feels to be treasured for and thus…
Accept me to love you for forever and thereafter…
Friday, January 1, 2010
Israel, Idiocy and Introspection...
Israel Khan is a cab driver in Mumbai. On the outside he is a man who would just get lost in an ocean of people but if one were to delve deeper into the person, he is just not another cab driver. He is a man passionate about life. His raison de’tre in Mumbai is his dream of standing on the same pedestal as the King Khan. A struggling actor/singer, who is trying to follow his fervor for Bollywood, wants to be completely naïve to the competition around. He is naïve, not because he is ignorant; but, because he is a person who would be categorized as a hopeless romantic. A hopeless romantic whose only passion is simply pursuing his career in the acting/singing arena as that is what he has set his heart on. Contrary to the use of the adjective of ‘hopeless romantic’, Israel’s doctrine of life is- “Umeed hi to zindage ki neev hai.” (Hope is the foundation of life). The striking feature about Israel’s personality was the courage and the innocence with which he wanted to run after his heart’s success.
Fifteen minutes in to a conversation with him and one would think that the man is drunk; yes, the man is inebriated with the zest for life. The words fear, security and inhibition do not feature in his dictionary. He has studied the Islam literature and the knowledge is used to pen down some of the best poems and ghazals that I have heard. Israel is a dreamer –a dreamer who in spite of never fallen in love can express the emotion of love so well through his poems. After conversing with him about his written work and his ideologies, I was almost convinced that we had many cerebral similarities. The differences were that his expressions were in Urdu and mine in English and, the more obvious one that he was pursuing what he wanted to and my path of life was covered in gravel of confusion.
He is the person that each one of us wants to be or has forgotten to be. Israel is a refreshing soul to meet and also the one that leaves you with a lot to ponder on. May the blessings of his Ammi and Allah make him successful in his pursuit of happiness!
Strangers bonding over love, life and philosophy may sound outlandish. But my encounter with Israel Khan proved that such experiences do take place, however you should have the will to explore!
Idiocy is now being synonymously used for wisdom, thanks to the release of a movie that talks about how it is only the “idiots” of the society who do the wise thing of following their hearts. Honestly, there is nothing new about this lesson. There is nothing new because every one of us is aware of this teaching and each one of us is an idiot; but over the years of growing up we have only forgotten about it.
I quote Daniel Gottlieb:-“I think we’re born square and we die round.” The thought to understand is the simple fact that all children are blessed with uninhibited wisdom, but over the years the sharpness of this wisdom is lost. “Behti hawa sa tha woh…udti patang sa tha woh…” is the song that keeps playing in between during the movie. My interpretation of the song is that each one us is on the look out for the “wise child” inside each one us. People lose their innocence and along with it their wisdom as well. If every one knew how to reclaim this lost wisdom, there will be a huge population of “happy idiots” everywhere. The whole thought process comes down to the fundamental attribute of humaneness. The more human a person is, the more likely that person is going to be innocent and honest about his/her path of life. The irony, however, is that the questions revolving around this simple understanding has given birth to many restless souls.
As I write about this thought, I am taken back to the time when I was of the opinion that I have the capability to provide a platform to an entire population of people who have not yet reclaimed their wisdom . Below is the verbatim of the conversation that I had about this “wonderful idea” with a few close friends:
"There must be a lot of people like us (me) who have yet to decide what they want to do in life. If in some way I could give these people the chance and the platform to decide for themselves their calling in life and also at the same time monetize this concept.....seems like a great idea...the people I am talking about here are the people who have always been confused about their lives like us (me)....how would a person who is not focused about his life can provide a platform to the people like him or worse than him....what platform and space am i talking about...the platform will be that time and freedom will be given to these people to decide the course of their lives....so what they just come to this so called platform and while away their time...no…they will make themselves useful by volunteering for the NGO that will be set up...they will have some talent of their own…their knowledge and experience which can be channelized some where to good use...will all this be a counseling session...no i would like these people to be a part of the entire venture....the "i do not know what to do in life" people turn out to be smart ones...can be used for something good rather than they getting stuck with regular jobs....an entrepreneurial venture to make future entrepreneurs...how do we monetize this venture....do not exactly know...is this thing too far fetched…yeah it does seem like that....am i reading too many books on entrepreneurship...and just because i have nothing else to do i came with this thought....probably i need to focus on my current job...and let things be the way they are....or scratch my brains for more "ideas" like these....i feel there seem to be too many things to do in life...too little time...NGO...Grilleria...write a book…travel.....and at the same time feel good about life and enjoy the entire thing....i do not know what holds for any one of us in the future...but Inshallah they will sure be some exciting times...."
Introspection has its advantages and this time it has brought back the excitement that I was looking out for. The New Year, it seems, has taken over the role of the harbinger of good and fulfilling times!
Fifteen minutes in to a conversation with him and one would think that the man is drunk; yes, the man is inebriated with the zest for life. The words fear, security and inhibition do not feature in his dictionary. He has studied the Islam literature and the knowledge is used to pen down some of the best poems and ghazals that I have heard. Israel is a dreamer –a dreamer who in spite of never fallen in love can express the emotion of love so well through his poems. After conversing with him about his written work and his ideologies, I was almost convinced that we had many cerebral similarities. The differences were that his expressions were in Urdu and mine in English and, the more obvious one that he was pursuing what he wanted to and my path of life was covered in gravel of confusion.
He is the person that each one of us wants to be or has forgotten to be. Israel is a refreshing soul to meet and also the one that leaves you with a lot to ponder on. May the blessings of his Ammi and Allah make him successful in his pursuit of happiness!
Strangers bonding over love, life and philosophy may sound outlandish. But my encounter with Israel Khan proved that such experiences do take place, however you should have the will to explore!
Idiocy is now being synonymously used for wisdom, thanks to the release of a movie that talks about how it is only the “idiots” of the society who do the wise thing of following their hearts. Honestly, there is nothing new about this lesson. There is nothing new because every one of us is aware of this teaching and each one of us is an idiot; but over the years of growing up we have only forgotten about it.
I quote Daniel Gottlieb:-“I think we’re born square and we die round.” The thought to understand is the simple fact that all children are blessed with uninhibited wisdom, but over the years the sharpness of this wisdom is lost. “Behti hawa sa tha woh…udti patang sa tha woh…” is the song that keeps playing in between during the movie. My interpretation of the song is that each one us is on the look out for the “wise child” inside each one us. People lose their innocence and along with it their wisdom as well. If every one knew how to reclaim this lost wisdom, there will be a huge population of “happy idiots” everywhere. The whole thought process comes down to the fundamental attribute of humaneness. The more human a person is, the more likely that person is going to be innocent and honest about his/her path of life. The irony, however, is that the questions revolving around this simple understanding has given birth to many restless souls.
As I write about this thought, I am taken back to the time when I was of the opinion that I have the capability to provide a platform to an entire population of people who have not yet reclaimed their wisdom . Below is the verbatim of the conversation that I had about this “wonderful idea” with a few close friends:
"There must be a lot of people like us (me) who have yet to decide what they want to do in life. If in some way I could give these people the chance and the platform to decide for themselves their calling in life and also at the same time monetize this concept.....seems like a great idea...the people I am talking about here are the people who have always been confused about their lives like us (me)....how would a person who is not focused about his life can provide a platform to the people like him or worse than him....what platform and space am i talking about...the platform will be that time and freedom will be given to these people to decide the course of their lives....so what they just come to this so called platform and while away their time...no…they will make themselves useful by volunteering for the NGO that will be set up...they will have some talent of their own…their knowledge and experience which can be channelized some where to good use...will all this be a counseling session...no i would like these people to be a part of the entire venture....the "i do not know what to do in life" people turn out to be smart ones...can be used for something good rather than they getting stuck with regular jobs....an entrepreneurial venture to make future entrepreneurs...how do we monetize this venture....do not exactly know...is this thing too far fetched…yeah it does seem like that....am i reading too many books on entrepreneurship...and just because i have nothing else to do i came with this thought....probably i need to focus on my current job...and let things be the way they are....or scratch my brains for more "ideas" like these....i feel there seem to be too many things to do in life...too little time...NGO...Grilleria...write a book…travel.....and at the same time feel good about life and enjoy the entire thing....i do not know what holds for any one of us in the future...but Inshallah they will sure be some exciting times...."
Introspection has its advantages and this time it has brought back the excitement that I was looking out for. The New Year, it seems, has taken over the role of the harbinger of good and fulfilling times!
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Spilling the beans of Goa 09...
Prologue:
“Goa…you ultimate seductress…you spare no one…
All souls find the peace that they seek in your arms…
Your caressing touch has soothed many a wounds….
Your smell attracts the festivities of life…
Making love to you is heaven…
You are an illusion…an oasis…a living dream!”
To write an ode to Goa is always difficult because every time there is a different personality of hers that you experience. It is also difficult because there are aspects of Goa that you feel physically and there are the other ones that touch your soul and the aspects that touch your soul are the ones that you crave for the rest of your life and are not easily expressed in words. It is better to express my voluble mind in words when the feel of the sand is still lingering. And I hope that I get an opportunity to write such beautiful memoirs soon…
Chapter 1: The Awesome Threesome…
Retrospectively, the travel in the 2320 hrs Konkan- Kanya from Dadar to Thivim was not a bad decision. The train journey was the beginning of a relationship called friendship between three good acquaintances, Dimple, Lydia and Ronak. The night started off slow but the stories veering of to anything from “honeymoon destinations” to “legalizing prostitution and drugs” made the conversation interesting for the people involved and scandalous and irritating for the fellow passengers. Stepping down at Thivim at noon, got the excitement up and running, and the remaining forty minutes to Baga in the hot, humid and fresh air seemed enjoyable. Photographs are clicked; Dimple, Lydia and Ronak realize that they are a photogenic trio and they make a good threesome (no pun intended...or well I could use the pun :) ) in all their photographs.
Ancora Resort is located and so is the wonderful person called Uma/Surya/Rama/Kanta- Kant. After tolerating Mr. Whatever-Kant for a while we go to our rooms and later head straight for brunch at Lime Light. Edwin does a great job of serving us some great cocktails (weren’t we pleased that it was “Happy Hours”) and delicious food…papad prawns, pork vindaloo and prawn curry... It must be really strange, but just with the first introduction to alcohol in Goa; the world is already spinning and lazy. We almost cancel off our plans of going to Panjim for a “lecture on clinical research”; but we realized that Lydia only pretends to be a devil; she has a conscience which cannot be silenced. She had promised her close friend, Jovi, and she will stick to it no matter what.
The decision making part was the easier part in the process of getting to Panjim as the more tedious part was the actual getting there ( damn only if I knew how to ride a bike!). Necessity is supposed to be the mother of invention; however the necessity of a cab or an auto rickshaw did not invent any smart thoughts in our brains. On the contrary it were the dumb gray cells that started to work and this led to a long walk in the humid afternoon before we got a transport for ourselves. The lecture, surprisingly, turned out to be quite a success story and we deserve a pat on our backs for that, what say Lydia?
The remainder of the evening is spent in the fun company of Jovi and Merci (I hope I got the name right!) at Hawai Beach Shack. The huge dampener for the evening was the humidity and we could all have done a lot better without it. Drinks, food and some catching up later we head back to Ancora Resort into the arms of Mr. Whatever Kant. A walk on the beach and loads of talking takes place before we go and stock on the liquor for the next day. Hunger strikes us; but hey hey hey…do not worry when there is 24 hour SUBWAY nearby. A salad and a mini-sub fill us up and we decide to greet Lydia’s friend Vijay. The humorous fact about the meeting with Vijay was that none of us understood what Vijay looks like as it was too dark to notice anything within the next three feet. After the short rendezvous with Vijay, we walk back to our room and continue the process of knowing each other. I must say that Dimple and Lydia are one of the most generous, the most beautiful, the warmest and the most huggable people I recently know of. Love you, guys!
Chapter 2: The Goa Groupies…
With a nice sleep and a supposedly exciting prank on our minds, we head to Sunset Cottage to enjoy our first decent breakfast in Goa. Chocolate pancakes, ham omelet and scrambled eggs give us enough time to chalk out our “dirty trick” to be played on Rahul, Salomi and Yash. A short walk on the beach takes our urge to dive in the sea to its peak; but we suppress it as it was time for the other groupies to join in. As fate and Rahul’s pragmatic mind would have it, the evil prank lost all its fizzle and what were left behind were tiny bubbles of frustration and sounds of laughter. We are filled by the horrific details of the train journey that the late comers had; can’t blame them if they have to see a shrink to cure their claustrophobia!
The Goa Groupies- Dimple, Lydia, Rahul, Ronak, Salomi and Yash, start their Goa adventure by welcoming the shots of tequila in their systems and it is understood that it is only fun times ahead. The sea beckons us again after lunch (butter chicken, roti and paneer something at Lime Light...Edwin was surely happy to find us there again!) and now there is no stopping back. The feel of the waves on the body is therapeutic and staring at the vast sea along with the cloudless blue sky is pure relaxation. The parasailing adventure sees Ronak and Salomi (“baby”) and Rahul and Yash pair up to enjoy one of the most brilliant views of Baga. (“…let us fly into the world of our dreams, just the way we are, forever and forever…” an afterthought)
A refreshing bath and a second ( and a third one for Yash and me) round of tequila later we are all stumbling and giggling on our way to Brittos for dinner ( chicken pasta, grilled chicken, paneer something and something more vegetarian…I am sorry that I do not recollect any of the vegetarian dishes ordered…). Rahul suddenly realizes that it is high time that he got high and thus more alcohol is procured to enjoy. It was quite hilarious and some what embarrassing to first ask for a full bottle of Jack Daniels and to replace it with a quarter of Royal Challenge considering that JD was really expensive. Soon we all go back to our rooms and more alcohol is bought by the “Santa Clause of alcohol” –Rahul. Shots are followed by an exciting session of confessions, exchange of stories and unusual stuff that need not go into print here. Rahul and Salomi decide to hit the bed to give their high state some rest. Lydia and I go out to the beach; I must confess that spending time with her under the moon lit night and having the most honest and a precious heart to heart talk with her has got me to appreciate her presence around even more. I believe that Dimple and Yash were singing the same song of appreciation for each other after their connecting conversation with each other. You never know what Goa can do for you!!
Shortly the five groupies (Salomi decided to stay in the bed) assembled at the beach for a while only to go back in and catch up on their sleep.
The beach, the smells, the sound of the waves, the pouring of the hearts and the magic of the Goan fairy did succeed to bring together six people under the banner of the Goa Groupies! We rock guys!!
Chapter 3: Driving Everywhere but Nowhere…
The morning started with only a couple of hours of sleep and a refreshing morning walk with Rahul. The sun is not hurting, the waves are clean and two guys are trying to find a mermaid in the waters of Baga! The early morning walk on the beach made us realize that the sea does not like dead animals as there were tens of them scattered all over the sand making the stench unbearable at times. The early morning walk comes to an end and the driving in Goa begins. It was very kind of Aashay to have his friend Nishant drop the car at Baga as Yash and I were too bored to make the journey from Baga to Panjim and back. The car is there but the one thing missing was fuel. I meant to say-Fuel for the car as well as for us. But as selfish as man can be, we first rush to Infantaria to have a disappointing breakfast and then the desperate search for petrol begins. Stopping all over at discrete places for petrol, we somehow manage to get to one petrol pump at Mapusa and make the car feel satiated. The return tickets are booked and the heat has every one of us cooked! Eventually the drive to Arambol begins late in the afternoon. The quaint and the bohemian Goan country side make the perfect scene for a pleasurable drive. Watching trees form arches, the chatter of the company and the high of the garam nicotine takes us all the way till Arambol. Coming to Arambol was coming back home. Many things were the way they are since ages, but many things have changed completely. The beach was still pristine and the waters as ever seducing (at times the sea decided to be angry and started slapping us). The lake had lost its charm and there was not enough time to touch base with the other familiar places at Arambol. I felt quite disheartened that we could not stop over at Morjeim…that would have been something to remember! I would also like to mention that Dimple and I had a great “bitching” session on our walk at Arambol. Don’t worry Dimps, no matter what, we are the coolest of the lot!
We all got back to our rooms and every one except the responsible driver of the day (Ronak) did not enjoy the shots of alcohol. After what seemed like a long while, we all started again to move to Curlies. We were all hoping that Curlies would turn out good as “I want to go to a night club” was the primary priority for Salomi (Yash, tu chalega na Tito’s mere saath). But lady luck wasn’t too kind with her and the last song had been played at Curlies a second before we reached there. So what if there is no party at Curlies…we all can eat…and we had one of the best omelet-pavs ever. The others decided that it is time that we should let Ronak have his share of the drinks and we all decided to head back to Baga. Songs were sung or hummed and we all realized that we had Lydia as a good singer amongst us.
Back on the beach (again Salomi preferred to sleep) at Baga, alcohol was gulped down rather too quickly. Rahul gave an astounding performance of “Jackva and Jillva” and had the audiences cry encore for him over and over. Before anyone realized where the time was flying, I had passed out on the cold sand of the beach, Rahul and Lydia were getting cozy and Dimple and Yash were in the waters having a wonderful conversation. After almost an hour, I woke up and I realize that I was freezing cold and I need to get some blood running. As I was trying to get my senses back, I understood that Yash and Dimple had already retired to the room and Rahul was trying to locate the joints that he had buried in the sand (he did manage to find them thirty minutes later…thanks dude!). Meanwhile, I also learn from Rahul that the seeds of an exciting love story, with Lydia and him being the protagonists, have been successfully sown. Good going guys…cheers…and I hope that you find what you seek- happiness! :) :)
It was tiring, it was hot, it was walking down memory lane, it was driving, it was being drunk, it was loads of talking, it was digging, it was waking up to hear some wonderful news and at the end of all, it was a very overwhelming experience….
Chapter 4: The Unusual Ruining…and Goodbyes…
After only an hour of sleep and with the alcohol still playing games with my mind, all I sense is absolute restlessness. This has to be brought under control. So the only thing that could have sorted this mindset was a long solitary walk on the beach. The sound of the Baga waves help to silence the waves of thoughts in my mind. After an hour and half of walking and talking, the catharsis of emotions is calmed down and I head back to the room. Rahul suggests that we have a pre-breakfast joint to “set the mood” for the day. That was a very wrong decision. The next “I do not know how many hours” were ruined for the entire group as I had slipped into a world of my own killing the plans for the day.
The “my world” was a very unusual place. There was no rationale behind my thought processes but each and every thought was worth putting down on paper… (How I wish I had a pen and a paper with me then…). There seemed to be no continuum between space and time. Time for me was rushing but simultaneously time was pausing (…the world around me is spinning that fast that it is making the time stop…). My body temperature was dropping and I thought that I was dead and waiting for my turn to get into heaven and that is why I am seeing my life in flashes. The realization of death was scary as I was contemplating a whole lot of things that I could have done only if I were alive. However even on my supposed death bed, I felt nice and warm from the inside, as I realized that I was being taken care of and being loved by some really beautiful people… (Thank you all for all the hugs, the palm and the sole rubs, the subway sandwich…Rahul for trying to talk some sense in me…)…I felt really protected and happy…not because of the psycho-influencing substance but because of the company that I was in……The psychedelic lights were like complete mental fireworks with a random pattern to them…..the bunch of ideas and stories that I could come up with was astonishing…( I really miss the pen and the paper…)….it was almost similar to an out of body experience with only the realization that I might/might not be dead….memories which have been locked at the back of your mind and the keys forgotten were opening up…inhibitions creeping in…feeling loved…it was happy but not relaxing…will I want to do this again…I do not know….
After the entire “Rocky was on a high” episode, we finally ventured out for the day to Fort Aguada…Yash finally found a rapport with the raging engine of the Santro… We said our goodbyes to the car…the girls decided to do shopping and the sleepy Ronak was more than willing to accompany them for their adventure…
Soon the groupies re-assembled and before even we could formally say goodbye to Goa, we were already on the bus taking us far away from this paradise…
Such were the adventures, the anecdotes, the stories and the emotions of a group of six people, who at the onset felt like a “motley crowd”, but eventually (just like always) had their souls amalgamated into one to enjoy the happiness that only Goa can offer….
Epilogue:
The stories of Goa cannot have a conclusion to them. People always leave a part of themselves behind in Goa, only to take a part of her back with them. The happiness that a person experiences in Goa cannot be defined, but it can be doubled every time it is shared.
Freedom and peace get new perspectives…hope is reinforced …the sun, the moon never look the same again…
I would like to end this narrative on few of the various notes of the mixed emotions that we sung together in Goa from 28 October 2009 till forever…a note of freedom, a note of friendship, a note of love, a note of excitement, a note of craziness and a note of hope…..
“Goa…you ultimate seductress…you spare no one…
All souls find the peace that they seek in your arms…
Your caressing touch has soothed many a wounds….
Your smell attracts the festivities of life…
Making love to you is heaven…
You are an illusion…an oasis…a living dream!”
To write an ode to Goa is always difficult because every time there is a different personality of hers that you experience. It is also difficult because there are aspects of Goa that you feel physically and there are the other ones that touch your soul and the aspects that touch your soul are the ones that you crave for the rest of your life and are not easily expressed in words. It is better to express my voluble mind in words when the feel of the sand is still lingering. And I hope that I get an opportunity to write such beautiful memoirs soon…
Chapter 1: The Awesome Threesome…
Retrospectively, the travel in the 2320 hrs Konkan- Kanya from Dadar to Thivim was not a bad decision. The train journey was the beginning of a relationship called friendship between three good acquaintances, Dimple, Lydia and Ronak. The night started off slow but the stories veering of to anything from “honeymoon destinations” to “legalizing prostitution and drugs” made the conversation interesting for the people involved and scandalous and irritating for the fellow passengers. Stepping down at Thivim at noon, got the excitement up and running, and the remaining forty minutes to Baga in the hot, humid and fresh air seemed enjoyable. Photographs are clicked; Dimple, Lydia and Ronak realize that they are a photogenic trio and they make a good threesome (no pun intended...or well I could use the pun :) ) in all their photographs.
Ancora Resort is located and so is the wonderful person called Uma/Surya/Rama/Kanta- Kant. After tolerating Mr. Whatever-Kant for a while we go to our rooms and later head straight for brunch at Lime Light. Edwin does a great job of serving us some great cocktails (weren’t we pleased that it was “Happy Hours”) and delicious food…papad prawns, pork vindaloo and prawn curry... It must be really strange, but just with the first introduction to alcohol in Goa; the world is already spinning and lazy. We almost cancel off our plans of going to Panjim for a “lecture on clinical research”; but we realized that Lydia only pretends to be a devil; she has a conscience which cannot be silenced. She had promised her close friend, Jovi, and she will stick to it no matter what.
The decision making part was the easier part in the process of getting to Panjim as the more tedious part was the actual getting there ( damn only if I knew how to ride a bike!). Necessity is supposed to be the mother of invention; however the necessity of a cab or an auto rickshaw did not invent any smart thoughts in our brains. On the contrary it were the dumb gray cells that started to work and this led to a long walk in the humid afternoon before we got a transport for ourselves. The lecture, surprisingly, turned out to be quite a success story and we deserve a pat on our backs for that, what say Lydia?
The remainder of the evening is spent in the fun company of Jovi and Merci (I hope I got the name right!) at Hawai Beach Shack. The huge dampener for the evening was the humidity and we could all have done a lot better without it. Drinks, food and some catching up later we head back to Ancora Resort into the arms of Mr. Whatever Kant. A walk on the beach and loads of talking takes place before we go and stock on the liquor for the next day. Hunger strikes us; but hey hey hey…do not worry when there is 24 hour SUBWAY nearby. A salad and a mini-sub fill us up and we decide to greet Lydia’s friend Vijay. The humorous fact about the meeting with Vijay was that none of us understood what Vijay looks like as it was too dark to notice anything within the next three feet. After the short rendezvous with Vijay, we walk back to our room and continue the process of knowing each other. I must say that Dimple and Lydia are one of the most generous, the most beautiful, the warmest and the most huggable people I recently know of. Love you, guys!
Chapter 2: The Goa Groupies…
With a nice sleep and a supposedly exciting prank on our minds, we head to Sunset Cottage to enjoy our first decent breakfast in Goa. Chocolate pancakes, ham omelet and scrambled eggs give us enough time to chalk out our “dirty trick” to be played on Rahul, Salomi and Yash. A short walk on the beach takes our urge to dive in the sea to its peak; but we suppress it as it was time for the other groupies to join in. As fate and Rahul’s pragmatic mind would have it, the evil prank lost all its fizzle and what were left behind were tiny bubbles of frustration and sounds of laughter. We are filled by the horrific details of the train journey that the late comers had; can’t blame them if they have to see a shrink to cure their claustrophobia!
The Goa Groupies- Dimple, Lydia, Rahul, Ronak, Salomi and Yash, start their Goa adventure by welcoming the shots of tequila in their systems and it is understood that it is only fun times ahead. The sea beckons us again after lunch (butter chicken, roti and paneer something at Lime Light...Edwin was surely happy to find us there again!) and now there is no stopping back. The feel of the waves on the body is therapeutic and staring at the vast sea along with the cloudless blue sky is pure relaxation. The parasailing adventure sees Ronak and Salomi (“baby”) and Rahul and Yash pair up to enjoy one of the most brilliant views of Baga. (“…let us fly into the world of our dreams, just the way we are, forever and forever…” an afterthought)
A refreshing bath and a second ( and a third one for Yash and me) round of tequila later we are all stumbling and giggling on our way to Brittos for dinner ( chicken pasta, grilled chicken, paneer something and something more vegetarian…I am sorry that I do not recollect any of the vegetarian dishes ordered…). Rahul suddenly realizes that it is high time that he got high and thus more alcohol is procured to enjoy. It was quite hilarious and some what embarrassing to first ask for a full bottle of Jack Daniels and to replace it with a quarter of Royal Challenge considering that JD was really expensive. Soon we all go back to our rooms and more alcohol is bought by the “Santa Clause of alcohol” –Rahul. Shots are followed by an exciting session of confessions, exchange of stories and unusual stuff that need not go into print here. Rahul and Salomi decide to hit the bed to give their high state some rest. Lydia and I go out to the beach; I must confess that spending time with her under the moon lit night and having the most honest and a precious heart to heart talk with her has got me to appreciate her presence around even more. I believe that Dimple and Yash were singing the same song of appreciation for each other after their connecting conversation with each other. You never know what Goa can do for you!!
Shortly the five groupies (Salomi decided to stay in the bed) assembled at the beach for a while only to go back in and catch up on their sleep.
The beach, the smells, the sound of the waves, the pouring of the hearts and the magic of the Goan fairy did succeed to bring together six people under the banner of the Goa Groupies! We rock guys!!
Chapter 3: Driving Everywhere but Nowhere…
The morning started with only a couple of hours of sleep and a refreshing morning walk with Rahul. The sun is not hurting, the waves are clean and two guys are trying to find a mermaid in the waters of Baga! The early morning walk on the beach made us realize that the sea does not like dead animals as there were tens of them scattered all over the sand making the stench unbearable at times. The early morning walk comes to an end and the driving in Goa begins. It was very kind of Aashay to have his friend Nishant drop the car at Baga as Yash and I were too bored to make the journey from Baga to Panjim and back. The car is there but the one thing missing was fuel. I meant to say-Fuel for the car as well as for us. But as selfish as man can be, we first rush to Infantaria to have a disappointing breakfast and then the desperate search for petrol begins. Stopping all over at discrete places for petrol, we somehow manage to get to one petrol pump at Mapusa and make the car feel satiated. The return tickets are booked and the heat has every one of us cooked! Eventually the drive to Arambol begins late in the afternoon. The quaint and the bohemian Goan country side make the perfect scene for a pleasurable drive. Watching trees form arches, the chatter of the company and the high of the garam nicotine takes us all the way till Arambol. Coming to Arambol was coming back home. Many things were the way they are since ages, but many things have changed completely. The beach was still pristine and the waters as ever seducing (at times the sea decided to be angry and started slapping us). The lake had lost its charm and there was not enough time to touch base with the other familiar places at Arambol. I felt quite disheartened that we could not stop over at Morjeim…that would have been something to remember! I would also like to mention that Dimple and I had a great “bitching” session on our walk at Arambol. Don’t worry Dimps, no matter what, we are the coolest of the lot!
We all got back to our rooms and every one except the responsible driver of the day (Ronak) did not enjoy the shots of alcohol. After what seemed like a long while, we all started again to move to Curlies. We were all hoping that Curlies would turn out good as “I want to go to a night club” was the primary priority for Salomi (Yash, tu chalega na Tito’s mere saath). But lady luck wasn’t too kind with her and the last song had been played at Curlies a second before we reached there. So what if there is no party at Curlies…we all can eat…and we had one of the best omelet-pavs ever. The others decided that it is time that we should let Ronak have his share of the drinks and we all decided to head back to Baga. Songs were sung or hummed and we all realized that we had Lydia as a good singer amongst us.
Back on the beach (again Salomi preferred to sleep) at Baga, alcohol was gulped down rather too quickly. Rahul gave an astounding performance of “Jackva and Jillva” and had the audiences cry encore for him over and over. Before anyone realized where the time was flying, I had passed out on the cold sand of the beach, Rahul and Lydia were getting cozy and Dimple and Yash were in the waters having a wonderful conversation. After almost an hour, I woke up and I realize that I was freezing cold and I need to get some blood running. As I was trying to get my senses back, I understood that Yash and Dimple had already retired to the room and Rahul was trying to locate the joints that he had buried in the sand (he did manage to find them thirty minutes later…thanks dude!). Meanwhile, I also learn from Rahul that the seeds of an exciting love story, with Lydia and him being the protagonists, have been successfully sown. Good going guys…cheers…and I hope that you find what you seek- happiness! :) :)
It was tiring, it was hot, it was walking down memory lane, it was driving, it was being drunk, it was loads of talking, it was digging, it was waking up to hear some wonderful news and at the end of all, it was a very overwhelming experience….
Chapter 4: The Unusual Ruining…and Goodbyes…
After only an hour of sleep and with the alcohol still playing games with my mind, all I sense is absolute restlessness. This has to be brought under control. So the only thing that could have sorted this mindset was a long solitary walk on the beach. The sound of the Baga waves help to silence the waves of thoughts in my mind. After an hour and half of walking and talking, the catharsis of emotions is calmed down and I head back to the room. Rahul suggests that we have a pre-breakfast joint to “set the mood” for the day. That was a very wrong decision. The next “I do not know how many hours” were ruined for the entire group as I had slipped into a world of my own killing the plans for the day.
The “my world” was a very unusual place. There was no rationale behind my thought processes but each and every thought was worth putting down on paper… (How I wish I had a pen and a paper with me then…). There seemed to be no continuum between space and time. Time for me was rushing but simultaneously time was pausing (…the world around me is spinning that fast that it is making the time stop…). My body temperature was dropping and I thought that I was dead and waiting for my turn to get into heaven and that is why I am seeing my life in flashes. The realization of death was scary as I was contemplating a whole lot of things that I could have done only if I were alive. However even on my supposed death bed, I felt nice and warm from the inside, as I realized that I was being taken care of and being loved by some really beautiful people… (Thank you all for all the hugs, the palm and the sole rubs, the subway sandwich…Rahul for trying to talk some sense in me…)…I felt really protected and happy…not because of the psycho-influencing substance but because of the company that I was in……The psychedelic lights were like complete mental fireworks with a random pattern to them…..the bunch of ideas and stories that I could come up with was astonishing…( I really miss the pen and the paper…)….it was almost similar to an out of body experience with only the realization that I might/might not be dead….memories which have been locked at the back of your mind and the keys forgotten were opening up…inhibitions creeping in…feeling loved…it was happy but not relaxing…will I want to do this again…I do not know….
After the entire “Rocky was on a high” episode, we finally ventured out for the day to Fort Aguada…Yash finally found a rapport with the raging engine of the Santro… We said our goodbyes to the car…the girls decided to do shopping and the sleepy Ronak was more than willing to accompany them for their adventure…
Soon the groupies re-assembled and before even we could formally say goodbye to Goa, we were already on the bus taking us far away from this paradise…
Such were the adventures, the anecdotes, the stories and the emotions of a group of six people, who at the onset felt like a “motley crowd”, but eventually (just like always) had their souls amalgamated into one to enjoy the happiness that only Goa can offer….
Epilogue:
The stories of Goa cannot have a conclusion to them. People always leave a part of themselves behind in Goa, only to take a part of her back with them. The happiness that a person experiences in Goa cannot be defined, but it can be doubled every time it is shared.
Freedom and peace get new perspectives…hope is reinforced …the sun, the moon never look the same again…
I would like to end this narrative on few of the various notes of the mixed emotions that we sung together in Goa from 28 October 2009 till forever…a note of freedom, a note of friendship, a note of love, a note of excitement, a note of craziness and a note of hope…..
Monday, October 19, 2009
Good Evening...!
As Mother plans to call us back to tuck us in our beds,
We take some time to bid farewell for the day to our peers,
So much play and laughter with our friends has made us long and tired!
The bobbing ripples give us a different hue,
Mischief that we do, has the vibrant fish looking out for cover,
Our friendship shines across just like our laughter!
Taking us to meet the never met before characters are our pebbly associates,
Intermingling with them has helped to unearth new routes,
The new paths have brought a radiant smile on the face of the mount of gravel!
The breeze has made us allies with the leaves and the blossoms,
The company of their colors is enough to make the entire day well spent,
The emanating fresh smells and their dance in the wind are only divine!
The soul mates of the flowers are also our new companions, the butterflies,
Their goodbyes to the petals is one of the most cheerful events of the day,
These happy winged friends are no less than the fairies of the bedtime stories!
As we make our journey back, we come across this human, and we ask:
“What is it that makes you smile so peacefully?”
“My dear sun rays, the content of listening about your adventures makes me smile!”
We take some time to bid farewell for the day to our peers,
So much play and laughter with our friends has made us long and tired!
The bobbing ripples give us a different hue,
Mischief that we do, has the vibrant fish looking out for cover,
Our friendship shines across just like our laughter!
Taking us to meet the never met before characters are our pebbly associates,
Intermingling with them has helped to unearth new routes,
The new paths have brought a radiant smile on the face of the mount of gravel!
The breeze has made us allies with the leaves and the blossoms,
The company of their colors is enough to make the entire day well spent,
The emanating fresh smells and their dance in the wind are only divine!
The soul mates of the flowers are also our new companions, the butterflies,
Their goodbyes to the petals is one of the most cheerful events of the day,
These happy winged friends are no less than the fairies of the bedtime stories!
As we make our journey back, we come across this human, and we ask:
“What is it that makes you smile so peacefully?”
“My dear sun rays, the content of listening about your adventures makes me smile!”
Monday, August 10, 2009
Apathy...
26 February 2009 ( There is no specific reason for the delayed publishing of this blog....)
I am breathing, I can feel my pulses, I can experience the rush of thoughts circulating in my brain, I can see the varied colors of life revolving around me, and I can see the beauty of nature around me…but despite all these expressions of life there is one thing that troubles me the most is that I am unable to imbibe the joie de vivre from the outside to the inside. Everything and anything has stopped to influence me. Watching a movie on the slums of Mumbai or enjoying the breeze on the mountain during the evening hours or typing these thoughts or writing a report on my monitoring visit-all seem the same to me. These thoughts are leading me to the conclusion which starts of on a thought process of its own. The concluding thought process, which is an amalgamation of the following questions –
Whether I have stopped listening to my heart? Whether I have stopped looking at things differently? Whether I have stopped appreciating the ordinary miracles around me? Do people not matter to me anymore? Am I happy? What do I need to do to resurrect my soul? Is it because of my stressful work schedules that I am unable to concentrate on the real me? Will I ever be able to regain the touch with the unreal world? Why do all the positive thoughts about life from the past and the future seem irrelevant? Will I have to wait for eternity to find a “muse” that will keep me going for the rest of my life? Why do the dreams that were so accurately visualized in concrete seem hazy now? Why does even reading a book on finding the true meaning of life seem all Latin? Why does macabre and merry seem synonymous? Why do I feel left out? Why is the task of expressing these thoughts so important that I am putting in my business hours on this task? Why does the idea of breaking away from the world around me into my own bubble seem so onerous? Why do the noble thoughts of doing well for people of the society not seem exciting enough? If all the things mentioned above were the things that used to define and now I cannot relate to them, am I unsuccessful in defining my 26 years of existence? Am I too pretentious to accept the way I am? Am I just another egotistical individual? Have I been engulfed by complete indolence that I am unable to find answers to the questions that bother me?
I have always been on a look out for answers. To those unanswered questions I add some more questions. How does it matter and why should it matter?
The only time in the day when I feel alive is under the influence of the external motivating factors including caffeine, songs and people. I miss being alive. To be extremely honest I do not even remember the last time I was alive. If I have to strain my memories then the last time I was “alive” it was in April 2008:):).
I know that this is some kind of a mental block that subconsciously I must have brought it on myself. It could just be a phase that could exemplify the Cancerian idiosyncrasy….I do not want to spend words here to diagnose my condition right now…..
I am breathing, I can feel my pulses, I can experience the rush of thoughts circulating in my brain, I can see the varied colors of life revolving around me, and I can see the beauty of nature around me…but despite all these expressions of life there is one thing that troubles me the most is that I am unable to imbibe the joie de vivre from the outside to the inside. Everything and anything has stopped to influence me. Watching a movie on the slums of Mumbai or enjoying the breeze on the mountain during the evening hours or typing these thoughts or writing a report on my monitoring visit-all seem the same to me. These thoughts are leading me to the conclusion which starts of on a thought process of its own. The concluding thought process, which is an amalgamation of the following questions –
Whether I have stopped listening to my heart? Whether I have stopped looking at things differently? Whether I have stopped appreciating the ordinary miracles around me? Do people not matter to me anymore? Am I happy? What do I need to do to resurrect my soul? Is it because of my stressful work schedules that I am unable to concentrate on the real me? Will I ever be able to regain the touch with the unreal world? Why do all the positive thoughts about life from the past and the future seem irrelevant? Will I have to wait for eternity to find a “muse” that will keep me going for the rest of my life? Why do the dreams that were so accurately visualized in concrete seem hazy now? Why does even reading a book on finding the true meaning of life seem all Latin? Why does macabre and merry seem synonymous? Why do I feel left out? Why is the task of expressing these thoughts so important that I am putting in my business hours on this task? Why does the idea of breaking away from the world around me into my own bubble seem so onerous? Why do the noble thoughts of doing well for people of the society not seem exciting enough? If all the things mentioned above were the things that used to define and now I cannot relate to them, am I unsuccessful in defining my 26 years of existence? Am I too pretentious to accept the way I am? Am I just another egotistical individual? Have I been engulfed by complete indolence that I am unable to find answers to the questions that bother me?
I have always been on a look out for answers. To those unanswered questions I add some more questions. How does it matter and why should it matter?
The only time in the day when I feel alive is under the influence of the external motivating factors including caffeine, songs and people. I miss being alive. To be extremely honest I do not even remember the last time I was alive. If I have to strain my memories then the last time I was “alive” it was in April 2008:):).
I know that this is some kind of a mental block that subconsciously I must have brought it on myself. It could just be a phase that could exemplify the Cancerian idiosyncrasy….I do not want to spend words here to diagnose my condition right now…..
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