My Simple Wish....

There is something that each one of us running after in our lives. Wishes, dreams ambitions whatever you may want to term it as, they all somehow imply the same thing. Usually these are in a very prospective time frame. These are things that you want to happen in future. When circumstances start to slip out of your control or to just put it simply when circumstances get desperate you want the things to happen instantly, no matter what be the consequences. Last evening I was desperate. I did not want a billion dollars. I did not want a good life. I did not want world peace. I did not want to be “free”. I did not want emancipation of troubled souls in the world. I did not want to escape to my happy place. All I wanted last evening was some warmth. I wanted the warmth of a hug.

A hug wouldn’t have given me the answers to my troubles, but would have given me the courage to face them. The warmth that a hug would have given me would have helped to wipe out the cold grief that had enveloped my heart. Probably grief is a harsh word, but then depression becomes too generic for the usage here. The reason for the sorrow is unknown. Loneliness, too many thoughts on life or just the news; it could have been anything.

Now suddenly my thoughts have hit a road block and I am unable to put down anything. I never got that hug last evening. A wish is just lost somewhere in the ether now, probably just like many others. Where do these wishes go? Is there some sadist who enjoys collecting these and preventing them to complete their course? I wish I knew the answer to that one……

Written Thinking....

Sufi music and a cup of masala chai can really uplift my mood which was dampened by the throbbing pain and the bitter after taste of the medicines. Add to this a regular flow of breeze which can completely transfer me to my world of poetry and creativity; although the poetry seems lost when I try to put it down in words. I am eagerly waiting for the day when I will be able to find the flow of words needed for my poem to find its course to paper.

Creativity, here for me, is defined by my ability to think as I believe that my creativity lies not in writing but thinking. People and places that I like are brought closer to me by thinking. Thinking helps me to get the suppressed feelings out in the open and writing them down only is the mode by which I create memories about the same. Thinking gives me the freedom to build bizarre characters that are otherwise mundane in this mortal reality. I will attribute this sudden splurge of creativity to the doctor’s advice of “complete bed rest” as the 76 hours of sleeping has rested my working mind and the creative mind has woken up. To keep me company through these somniferous hours was Mitch Albom and his The Five People You Meet in Heaven. A different vision of Heaven is put forth in this book. To summarize, heaven is the place where you start making sense of your life on earth and that is the only way to find peace. Heaven is different for each individual but still all our lives are intersected by one way or other. A very intriguing thought that will keep me busy for days to come.

The creativity pangs gave rise to my dream of writing a book. I do have a story in my mind. The story seems incomplete and cannot be completely visualized. The story is currently been seen as the pre-release rushes of a movie, seeing which you do get a general over view but have no clue about the characters or the flow of the theme. It has become important for me to give this story a serious thought flow and sculpt it with words before it becomes just another passing thought or worse-a regret.

Went to House of charity…saw that it was being brought down by an developer…have never before stood up to anything so take this up as the challenge that destiny has written for me…to see to it that all the children get a place they can always call their home…search for them......some are in mental institutions…some have gone back to their unhappy lives….the nuns from Italy are nowhere to be found…loved these children and gave them a whole lot of their lives so much sacrifice….where would they be….getting all the children back to safety…union with the nuns…a place to stay forever without any bothers???? Nothing could be better that Peace and Love in Goa…… and that is what the book will be called Peace and Love……

Experience and a lot of information with some serious dedication and patience can help this story see the light of the day as a book.

A paragliding instructor…..in some beautiful mountains somewhere in North India…a girl who encounters a serious accident during the lessons…love strikes…hospitalization…a week…pouring of hearts…innocent….honest….girl dies….melancholy prevails….

This is another story that I happened to visualize in one of my restless sleeps in the recent weeks. Have no clue about how, what or why but felt like making a memory of it before it fades off.

“You meet a person after a long time. You have always claimed to have known the person really well. You have always liked the person a lot before. But in this meeting you feel that there are in so many ways that you have not got a chance to know the person. The beauty of the person still needs to be explored. You start getting attracted to the person. The mysterious side of the person is suddenly kept before you. The eyes tell you a lot but at the same time do not want to reveal a single word. A different kind of bond seems to arise. Makes you crazy…makes you confused….but makes you happy. Will this happiness last only till the time the mystery is unsolved…answers to this are a different story altogether….lets see what the future holds…”

Enough said for today. I think it is time for me to get back to get some quiet time with Miles Davis. Eyes will be shut. Mind will be working. Heart will be beating. Prayers will be said. Thoughts will be pouring and Jazz will be heard….nice times are here….. :)